Hello! I'm Colleen, but lately I've taken to being called Liz (middle name Elizabeth). You may call me anything you like as long as it isn't "Collie." I’m 25 and hail from the Central Jersey Shore. You should come and spend a day at the beach with me – I’ll buy you an Italian Ice!
I am very excited about this group; I was informed of its creation a long time ago but couldn't get an invite code that worked, and subsequently forgot about its existence. Kay (a dear friend from childhood and constant source of truth in my life) prodded me recently to try again, so here I am. I know several of you from life and look forward to getting to know the rest of you in whatever ways are presented to us!
I remember snippets of my childhood and corresponding discussions mostly because they were either very pleasant or very unpleasant. The in-between things (such as sex discussions) I can classify as neither. I don't recall talking explicitly about sex with my parents, but knowing myself to be curious and independent, most of my sex education came from seeking out answers through books, movies, porn, talks with friends and physical exploration/masturbation.
Growing up homeschooled and in a conservative Christian home, the general climate about sex was cool -- as in, "True Love Waits," "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," "its proper place is heterosexual marriage," and, "fast forward the naughty parts of movies." Still, I never felt shy about it. I've always had a desire for blunt honesty -- wanting to get down to the facts -- so I could sift them out and form opinions of my own. My parents’ desires to help me make it to marriage before having sex was from two very strong influences: their Christianity and their past mistakes. As to the first, I am a Christian (though an ever-increasingly unconventional one). Regarding the second, I seem fated to make my own mistakes.
I often feel as though I “peaked” when I was 17 – traveling to Europe and Africa, graduating early from high school, a potential art career in the making and the world in general ahead of me. But in many ways, I have spent my years since then unraveling those “achievements” and the characteristics I possessed to accomplish them. Basically, I’m very much in flux and may not be the same from one day to the next, though it’s not as insane as it seems.
To keep this from getting overlong, I will give you the bullet points:
- My dad spent several years in a relationship with another man before marrying my mom - My dad also encouraged an ex to get an abortion in his twenties - Upon learning about my dad’s homosexual relationship, my questions regarding my own sexuality made more sense and seemed to be not such a betrayal - I got my period when I was 9 which was not confusing but polarizing since I couldn’t relate to anyone else my age - I have had sex with one man over the course of several years in the context of an exclusive friends-with-benefits situation; I do not regret it and he is still a very good friend - I started watching porn when I was 15; I do regret it and still struggle. I wish this topic were less taboo among women and not considered a “male” problem - I am genuinely conflicted about two things: I am not convinced that homosexual sex (let alone marriage) is wrong; and I am not convinced that premarital sex is wrong, though I will concede it is not always preferable. - None of these questions lead me to doubt that the Bible is Scripture or that Jesus is God and savior of humankind.
I love cooking, hiking, sleeping, organizing, traveling, family trees, singing loudly in my car while driving alone, typography, and discussing inappropriate topics like politics and religion at dinner. I don’t like talking on the phone, air conditioning, cilantro, fluorescent lighting, catalogues, knick-knacks or tchotchkes, or bad graphic design.
A little of me
I am very excited about this group; I was informed of its creation a long time ago but couldn't get an invite code that worked, and subsequently forgot about its existence. Kay (a dear friend from childhood and constant source of truth in my life) prodded me recently to try again, so here I am. I know several of you from life and look forward to getting to know the rest of you in whatever ways are presented to us!
I remember snippets of my childhood and corresponding discussions mostly because they were either very pleasant or very unpleasant. The in-between things (such as sex discussions) I can classify as neither. I don't recall talking explicitly about sex with my parents, but knowing myself to be curious and independent, most of my sex education came from seeking out answers through books, movies, porn, talks with friends and physical exploration/masturbation.
Growing up homeschooled and in a conservative Christian home, the general climate about sex was cool -- as in, "True Love Waits," "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," "its proper place is heterosexual marriage," and, "fast forward the naughty parts of movies." Still, I never felt shy about it. I've always had a desire for blunt honesty -- wanting to get down to the facts -- so I could sift them out and form opinions of my own. My parents’ desires to help me make it to marriage before having sex was from two very strong influences: their Christianity and their past mistakes. As to the first, I am a Christian (though an ever-increasingly unconventional one). Regarding the second, I seem fated to make my own mistakes.
I often feel as though I “peaked” when I was 17 – traveling to Europe and Africa, graduating early from high school, a potential art career in the making and the world in general ahead of me. But in many ways, I have spent my years since then unraveling those “achievements” and the characteristics I possessed to accomplish them. Basically, I’m very much in flux and may not be the same from one day to the next, though it’s not as insane as it seems.
To keep this from getting overlong, I will give you the bullet points:
- My dad spent several years in a relationship with another man before marrying my mom
- My dad also encouraged an ex to get an abortion in his twenties
- Upon learning about my dad’s homosexual relationship, my questions regarding my own sexuality made more sense and seemed to be not such a betrayal
- I got my period when I was 9 which was not confusing but polarizing since I couldn’t relate to anyone else my age
- I have had sex with one man over the course of several years in the context of an exclusive friends-with-benefits situation; I do not regret it and he is still a very good friend
- I started watching porn when I was 15; I do regret it and still struggle. I wish this topic were less taboo among women and not considered a “male” problem
- I am genuinely conflicted about two things: I am not convinced that homosexual sex (let alone marriage) is wrong; and I am not convinced that premarital sex is wrong, though I will concede it is not always preferable.
- None of these questions lead me to doubt that the Bible is Scripture or that Jesus is God and savior of humankind.
I love cooking, hiking, sleeping, organizing, traveling, family trees, singing loudly in my car while driving alone, typography, and discussing inappropriate topics like politics and religion at dinner. I don’t like talking on the phone, air conditioning, cilantro, fluorescent lighting, catalogues, knick-knacks or tchotchkes, or bad graphic design.
Love to you all.