We are engaged but not technically engaged. As in--we decided in November that we want to get married, and have been working off of that presumption (finding a wedding date, beginning pre-marital counseling). Tom asked me to keep it under wraps so that he could do a more traditional surprise-with-ring and we could call everyone and squee and share joy then.
This worked...sort of...for two months, before I broke down and told Tom, "I HAVE TO TALK TO PEOPLE. THERE ARE ALL THESE BIG LIFE CHANGES AND FEARS I HAVE, AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SHARE THEM IS CUTTING ME OFF FROM EVERYONE I LOVE." And Tom went, "Oh, duh, that makes sense."
So you will still get a squealy phone call when Tom proposes, with ring, but in the meantime, we know we are getting married, and I have this time to talk with my sisters less about wedding planning and more about fears and struggles and joys of the process of joining our lives together.
Re: honesty among friends
We are engaged but not technically engaged. As in--we decided in November that we want to get married, and have been working off of that presumption (finding a wedding date, beginning pre-marital counseling). Tom asked me to keep it under wraps so that he could do a more traditional surprise-with-ring and we could call everyone and squee and share joy then.
This worked...sort of...for two months, before I broke down and told Tom, "I HAVE TO TALK TO PEOPLE. THERE ARE ALL THESE BIG LIFE CHANGES AND FEARS I HAVE, AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SHARE THEM IS CUTTING ME OFF FROM EVERYONE I LOVE." And Tom went, "Oh, duh, that makes sense."
So you will still get a squealy phone call when Tom proposes, with ring, but in the meantime, we know we are getting married, and I have this time to talk with my sisters less about wedding planning and more about fears and struggles and joys of the process of joining our lives together.
Make sense?